Your writing comes alive when you show not just tell about an event. When you "show" you use vivid word choices with lots of descriptive adjectives and strong verbs. Sentences are longer and filled with detail.
Tell- The party was fun. There were balloons everywhere. The food was great and the music was awesome.
Example: Show- Red, yellow, and blue balloons drape across the bright colored streamers that surround the room. Children giggle as they twist and turn to the vibrating music. Steaming hot pizza and ice cold sodas wait to be devoured.
Now it's your turn. Change this telling sentence to showing sentences. Be sure to add vivid word choice, descriptive words, and lots of detail.
The party was so cool! Balloons were flying in the air,a disco ball was spinning,and techno music was playing by the Crystal Method.The food was caterd by my favorite resturant called 'Froggers' and the refreshments were my favorite soda,RootBeer!!!That was the best party i have evr been to.Ill try to throw one just like it.
ReplyDeleteThe birthday party at my friend,Ashley's house was stupendous!!!The tropical colored balloons were scattered on the floor.The kids were spinning on the ground to the music.There was my favorite food to eat,chicken.There was RootBeer,Coca-Cola,and lots of other cool refreshments.I love parties!Do you?
ReplyDeletethe party was joyful! my strobe lights were going round and round plus my disco ball was flying across the room balloons were soaring across the room.my friends were screaming so loud england could hear our party,my favorite song was on by enrique iglesias featuring pittbull called i like it, as i was dancing i said im hungry how about you guys they all said sure i called little ceasers to get a pizza,by seven o'clock the pizza was here i said that was quickwhen the hands on the clock were on seven thirty everyone left as i went up stairs to go to bed i had to clean up the mess we all made, then i finally went to sleep.
ReplyDeleteYeah!This party is so fun.Theres tye-dye balloons on the floor and on the ceiling.Theres a electronc dance floor.Whats next,a party monster.Almost the whole people on earth are here.Theres lots of games,theres a Arcade;and a play room.This sure is the most best party ever!
ReplyDeleteTHE PARTY WAS FUN.THERE WERE STREAMERS EVERYWHERE,BALLOONS,FOOD,AND DRINKS.MY FRIENDS ZARIA,MADDIE,COURTNEY,ZANIYA AMANDA,AND I WERE HAVING A SLEEP OVER AND WE HAD A PILLOW FIGHT.ZARIA HIT MADDIE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD,COURTNEY HIT ZANIYA AND FINALLY I CAME OUT THE CLOSET AND HIT AMANDA IN THE BACK.IT WAS 10:00 WHEN WE DICIDED TO EAT.WE ATE UNTIL IT WAS 12:00.THEN WE GOT READY FOR BED AND TOLD GOHOST STORIES UNTIL WE FELL ASLEEP.IT WAS THE BEST PARTY EVER!
ReplyDeleteI LOVED the party my freind, Kyle trew. There was food music and tons of ballons.Everything was so awsome I dont know what to start with. But uinfortunitly I do. I was playing with the ballons when my freind dared me to pop one so i did. i squeezed and huged and then BOOOOOOOM!!!!I was drenched in pudding. A loud voice said "Boys and girls. everybody to the dance floor." I started moving until I herd the music, Justin Beiber. I went to the food table and my mouth instantly waterd. There was tons of food. There was turkey, pizza, wings youname it they got it Finally it was timeto leave As soon as i got in the car i fell asleep.That was the best party ever!!!
ReplyDeleteThe birthday party was awesome!There were rainbow ballons draped from the celling.There was cunfete in the air. As the kids were dancing to the funky music I counld smell the steming pizza and the vanlla cake.The pizza had thick cheese, black juicy olives and brown sasage on top. The cake was vanlla with creamy milk cocolot frosting,over that was red ruby strawberrys.That was the best birthday party ever.
ReplyDeletestupendous!where the words I thought of as the party began,alot of diffret tropical colored bollons poped as the chidren ran in to get the party poppin.the ice cold drinks sat there looking just as splinding as me.the diamond icecubes were shining so bright it gave us light for the night.all my friends gave lots of preasents thats what made it the best.
ReplyDeleteAt our "Just Before Christmas" party, there were ballons, music, and lots of food. The ballons were like a swarm of red, green, and white. We listened to the classic Christmas
ReplyDeletetunes such as Jingle Bells, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, The Twelve Days of Christmas, and many more. We were served steaming hot pizza with ice cold punch. The party was awesome!
As soon as I walked in that door, I almost exploded.People were all dancing when I walked in, so I decided to join the fabulous dance party too . Rainbow balloons and streamers were piled up everywhere.I quickly grabbed one and tossed it up in the air shouting, "this is the best party ever." The owner of the party was Desiree. As the servants passed out food, I took a bite in my mouth and it was watering. It was chicken with lots and lots of stuffing in it.Then music started and it was very,very soft music. So soft, I fell asleep. When I finally woke up, people were asking me if I was alright. Yeah, I said, that was the best party ever!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAt my grahmas house we had so much fun at the party.Our cousins came and they threw stuff around like crazy.Swarms of balloons took over the house.Boom Boom! was the sound of the loud music bursting out of the speakers.I was dancing so hard i just want to collapse.Finally we sat down and had hot mountian covered cheese and ice cold lemonade.I was so happy my mouth went up to ear to ear. I was delighted.
ReplyDeleteThe Halloween party at my cousin's house was awesome. There were a bunch of webs and rubber spiders on the walls and ghosts hanging from the ceiling. We ate cake and chocolate chip cookies. For the Halloween party everyone wore a costume, I dressed up as a vampire. There were strobe lights blinking and music blaring so loud my eardrums felt like they were going to pop. That Halloween party was the best party I ever been to.
ReplyDelete